Lady of Light
September 21st 2012
There are times in your life when you just have to get over your fear and just take the chance. What's the worst that could possibly happen? If you don't try, you'll never know. If you don't ASK you will never know.
What have you got to lose? This is the question you need to ask yourself every day with everything that you are faced with. “What have I got to lose?” Especially when we are talking about gaining knowledge and information; whenever we want to know something but we are too afraid to ask.
A good example of this fear of asking is with dating. There are not many people on this planet that are not afraid of asking someone out on a date. Everyone has that fear. It is the fear of “what if?” So, what if? What’s the worst that could happen if you ask that guy or girl out? They turn you down? The say yes? They make fun of you to their friends? They actually secretly like you too and are also afraid to ask? What is it? If you don’t ask, you will never know. The best thing you can do is to ask. At least then, you can move on and not be stuck in a world of emotion that doesn’t need to be there. Upon rejection, at least you know and even though you may be hurt emotionally at the moment, it’s not the end of the world. You can work through the emotion and move on. And if they say yes, you have relief at the very least. Either way, the stress of not asking and not knowing is gone.
Another example, this one is my own experience. In highschool, grade 12 I believe it was, there was a student teacher at our school who was a very handsome guy; all the girls were surely drooling over him, myself included. Me and my friends were sitting around in the cafeteria at lunchtime and he came in and sat down with us. We had spoken to him before, some of them had him as student-teacher in some of their classes. Now, this guy was of Italian decent, and had dark-brown or black hair with a white streak in the front just to the side of center above his forehead. He got up to talk to one of the teachers that came up behind him. Being teenage girls, all sitting around talking to each other about how “hot” he is, all of us were wondering how he got the streak in his hair. Of course this started the rounds of “I’m not gonna ask him, YOU ask him”, so I finally said “I’ll ask him”, and so I did.
Was I afraid? Yes, you’re darn right I was. I was terrified, but someone had to do it. None of the girls could believe that I had actually asked him. He explained it, and it’s something he’d always just had. But the point is, I ASKED. Afraid or not, without asking the answer would not have been known.
To be quite honest, there have been several of these too afraid to ask or say something moments in my life, but without going ahead and doing what needed to be done, I would not be the person I am today. I am grateful for those moments because it truly does make a person stronger.
My above examples deal with “asking”, however, there are those times when “doing” is the cause of fear. When it comes to doing, or not doing, we often have fear in that aspect too. Again, you need to ask yourself, “What have I got to lose?” If you don’t try to do something, you will never know if you are even capable of doing that thing. If you are too afraid because of what might happen, then you will never know what WILL happen.
Fear prevents us from doing the things that we want to do. It doesn’t matter whether it is something we want to ask or if it is something that we want to do. You must take everything into consideration when making the decision on what it is that you have to lose in and all situations in this life.
Ultimately, we have NOTHING to lose but our fear. Even if the decision is made to go ahead when it means that you could lose your money, your job, your family, etc., we still have nothing to lose when it comes to the grand scheme of things.
On the grand scale, we are here to learn, and sometimes that means going about things in a way that makes us lose the things that we THINK are important. Sometimes it is in losing those things that makes us learn and realize who we are and what we need to be, and even what we need to do. The best things usually come from the biggest failures. That is because the things that seem like failures needed to happen to HAVE those grand things happen.
Everything happens for a reason. However, if you pass up opportunities such as those which cause the greatest of fears, you may lose out on an opportunity to learn and to grow. These types of opportunities are thrown our way more times than anyone cares to realize. You must learn to pay attention to those moments as they come your way. Stop letting them pass by out of fear of what might happen.
Fear is a tool to protect us from harm, but fear has been turned into a weapon that we fight ourselves with every day. Even if others instill fear in you, it is still you alone who is responsible for using that fear. If we use fear to help us instead of harm us, we can learn to improve our lives and move past silly things that there’s no reason to have fear over. Fear IS a weapon, it is used every day, everywhere in the world, but it is ultimately up to us whether or not to accept it and take it upon ourselves.