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Thread: Whats your opinion or suggestion on my intro paragraph?

  1. #1

    Whats your opinion or suggestion on my intro paragraph?

    It's a good beginning, because you used a quote, but it's too long. Why are you writing about extraterrestials?

  2. #2

    Whats your opinion or suggestion on my intro paragraph?

    Extraterrestrial Disclosure Not Advisable“I’m not at liberty to discuss the governments knowledge of extraterrestrial UFO’s at this time. I am still personally being briefed on the subject!” said ex President Richard M. Nixon.Some of the United States top secret extraterrestrial information is beyond the control and knowledge of even the president. There are groups of people which have dedicated their entire lives to researching and trying to prove to the world that there is secret evidence of extraterrestrials that the US government is hiding .The U.S should not disclose evidence of extraterrestrials to the American people yet; if there are any. If the U.S decides to disclose extraterrestrial information, the American people are going to know that in fact the U.S does have information hidden from the public, and as a result, the United States will become untrustworthy. Also, many Americans are not prepared to mentally and emotionally accept the fact that we may not be the onl

  3. #3

    Whats your opinion or suggestion on my intro paragraph?

    yea its sorta longish....but its good.. the quotes good

  4. #4

    Whats your opinion or suggestion on my intro paragraph?

    get rid of your verbs of being ie: "is", "are"good starting quote, but your thesis should be one sentence and a little more clear

  5. #5

    Whats your opinion or suggestion on my intro paragraph?

    It looks really good. It grabs your attention right away. I have always wondered how all the planets in this universe only have one with life. It seems very improbably that we are the only planet with lifeforms. It makes me want to read more. What a tease.

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