[Rant] Well it looks like it's happening again

Those of you who have read some of my posts know some of the problems of my friend who's like a mom to me.

Well after the cab driver who came in and took her to the parking and helped her in the cab and folded up the wheel chair and put it in the back of the cab "without numerous complaints we had from the regular wheelchair taxi cab drivers about the lay out of the place and one had the nerve to tell her she should move.

It looks like her new doctor may be pulling a Narulla on her, the name of her previous dr. who wouldn't renew her meds that she wen without for two years before getting herself in this present predicament ny the way her temporary occupational therapist said her husband had the same dr. and he didn't like him and got a new dr. One in-home health care CNA (that was provided by the hospital temporarily) said to her that sometimes they do that if you don't see them on a regular basis.

Well, I took a letter over to the office and very detailed about the trouble and her finances (where she can't afford to keep taking a cab all over the place,)she has getting out of the house, (I'm too puny 4'ft 11 inches) to wheel her out and this place is wheelchair unfriendly, unfortunate,we had to sign a new lease and can't afford the 1st last and security deposit plus the money to break the lease and to pay for movers too pr we would) she can walk but not too far on her own and I couldn't help her when she fell, except to call 911.

Well, we asked her to renew her meds (she can only do this when the little bit of monney she has left over from Social Security paying her monthly bills.) yesterday and still no reply from the "good doctor" who by the way (if it means anything to anybody out there is a board certified fellow. So despite her knowing about her lack of transportation and financial situation, I've learned one thing about drs. they don't care. as long as they can get between $250.00 and $350.00 per patient either from the patient their insurance or what Medicare is willing to pay and what money the patient pays after Medicare. The agencies we have here are a joke too, Medicaid says my friend makes too much money on her gross income, well, tell me who lives off their gross income? The transportation for the elderly and disabled they don't want to come in the house and wheel her out. My friend just says part of her really doesn't care if she sees a dr.

Healthwise she took these type of pills when she had Narulla and they never gave her any side affects.
Her niece was going tp contact the director of an organization and see if he would get in touch with someone in this neck of the woods to see if their was someone who would help her out for a modest rate, never heard from her again, so far. We've poked around a few other places too, it's hard I guess with some of these agencies to get completely organized after the holidays, I guess with vacations and what not.

The people in this complex forget it, they don't even offer to help me go to the store I have to go twice a week and walk 8 blocks and take the bus back, bus fare is almost $2.00 for one way.

Well, I guess everything happens for a reason,but geeze can't we ever get a break from it? For a brief portion in time I thought things were turning around well maybe somewhat but still no solution to the main problemHope I'm not backsliding too much She had one dr. that was a dr's dr. but he was too far away after she got on oxygen she would actually talk to him on the phone not his assistant and he would renew her meds, from there if she couldn't get there.. Those days are long gone I can see that now.

Well, I AM sorry to hear that things are so terrible. I think we need to do the exercise here where we pull the positives out. List me all the positives you can pull out of the events that you just wrote about. We'll start with that.

Thank you for the reminder One positive I can think of off the top of my head, is that she received a notice from the company that warned her of further "considerations" from the people that handle the account of her cardiologist for $38.45 and she was able to send $20.00 in hopes they accept that with the remainder due next month. Imagine $38.45 (what Medicare wouldn't pay) I'd hate to see what they'd do if it were $100.00 or more. When all is said and done with the mail service being what it is, it gave her two days to respond with the due date being today! I had to make an unplanned trip to the store 8 blocks away to make sure the invoice would be sent postmarked the 12th. We got it on the 11th. Friday the person across from us had mail in the box to go out (they stand it on end as a notice to go out) and the mail carrier left it in the box and put more mail inside with it. I mail all the mail we send at the mailbox (in other words I don't trust the mail carrier to do their job right) but usually not that far away, I trust it to be picked upon Saturday more because the mailbox is close to two banks (one opened on Saturday am) I will try to think of other positives.

Another positive we have slightly better tenants now with the new management.

However, I can't see anything too positive about my heighth (or lack there of) and at least she can go do personal things on her own when she first came home I had to help her walk to the powder room.

Could this bad, bad luck be part of the number we have corresponding with the Apt we live in(12A) I wonder. We haven't had the best of luck but nothing like we're having now. Unfortunately nothing can be done about that.

Just ALWAYS keep in mind, things are as we perceive them. So, even IF things LOOK bad, they aren't always, they are merely PERCEIVED to be.

I ran across a little something on Facebook a month or so ago that I think you would get a lot out of. I'm going to find it and post it here because I really do think it will help with these stressful situations.

I'll try to come back later and chat a little more about this, but for now, I have to go for a bit.

Perhaps this comment might be misconstrued and perhaps not. I can sympathize with what you are going through for I have elderly parents.

I will say this, you are a good soul, a good friend to do what you do. I wish I could help, are you in Pennsylvania? I am reminded of a quote, I hope you understand how it may be appropriate:

"When one door of Happiness closes, another opens;
but often we look so long at the closed door that we
do not see the one which has been opened for us." - Helen Keller

I try to think of this when things are at their worst and I have found, that is when I am usually my best. Sounds to me you may be as well.

Mikado

Thank you, for sharing, I seem to be having more problems with the wi-fi again, it took me all this time from when I logged in to be able to rrespons. oh, well I guesss it's better than nothing,which sometimes. But look forward to hearing from you (your helping think outside the box I've built around myself for years) when I can get it a little steadier.

Thank you for your kind words, because I've often wondered if I'm not part of the root cause of this and she is being punished for the way she chooses her friends.
I wish we did live in Pennsylvania, I live in one of the most unsympathetic states there is for poor people unless you have children,that is. The state of Florida. The red carpet rolls out for those that have kids. So please forgive that little show of resentment, but this state really is hard on it's senior poor and it's single no kids poor. I have to work on the resentment thing I know.

The outside world cannot possibly change until your inner world does. So yes, you'll need to work on that resentment thing, lol.

Your friend is not being punished for the way she chose her friends, you need to stop being so down on yourself. Sure, you made some bad choices in life, but you don't need to BE the bad choice and certainly not forever. Let the past be the past. Unless it is directly in correspondence with what is in the moment, it is gone, but you need to let it be gone. I myself have had to work with those kinds of thoughts for all kinds of things in my life, it's tough at times, but feels SO much better once they're gone.

I found that story and I want to share it with you. I want you to reflect on this whenever something goes wrong. I myself am not a religious person and believe we are ALL "god", but the point of the story is good, so it's worth reflecting on. Everything for a reason.

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad

God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Okay

God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...

Click to expand...

So, no matter how bad things "look", there is a reason behind it and that reason could very well have prevented something worse from happening.

See that, right up there, is exactly the point. Even if you're thrown in jail and feel you're being mistreated, or you get a horrible disease or just *whatever*, you are probably being spared something far, far worse so count your blessings. No matter what befalls you, it could be a whole lot worse.

Thank you My friend says I'm much too hard on myself or at least she used to alot more until caught up in this present predicament. You're winning me over more and more, to enlightened way of thinking,my friend is kind of set in her ways, she doesn't practice it anymore but she still believes in the religion she was born into.

You knocked my socks off in a good way because I was aware of the story A Conversation with God. My friends niece sent her the story so now we have access to it in two different places. Talk about synchrinisity.

I know I need to work on resentment, and also need to forgive more, I know I need to work on is the forgiving thing to I think that's linked to the resentment thing, the kids I went to school with that made my childhood miserable, and this I think carried over to adulthood. Because I have a tendancy toward shyness and have difficulty making friends. or I should say keeping in touch with my acquaintenances. (my on line friends fair better) because I'm embarrased to be the way I am well now, below part of the 99% if you catch my drift of phrasing it nicely.

Thank you again, Lady of Light hope i'm starting to figure it out. By the way I'm not the most religious person either, one thing my grandmother made sure I knew though was the Golden Rule. Part of me still follows it and part of me has gotten away from it.

Thank you kotn. I do try sometimes it gets away from me. But i do try. Sometimes I need nudging though, I'll admit.

2loserel3, I have an idea for you to try out. This works for some people, and doesn’t work for everyone, but based on what I’m hearing from you, it couldn’t hurt to try it. It should help with a lot of that resentment you carry around with you. Are you ready?

Write a letter to each of the people that caused you harm in your past (alive or dead), don’t forget to include yourself. Write everything that you would LIKE to say to those people. This is the best exercise to get those thoughts and feelings expressed to those people without actually being able to express it to them directly. Be as rude as you like in these letters, it's about expressing your feelings, your TRUE FEELINGS! These letters are not for sending to anyone, they are for gaining closure and healing for yourself so that you can move on. Type them, write them, whatever, doesn’t matter the format.

Would this be something that you would be willing to do?

Sure, this will stir up all kinds of crazy emotions, but in the end, it SHOULD leave you feeling relieved.

You are a wonderful woman, and a wonderful friend. Anyone who has you in their life should be grateful! I know I am!

Thank you Lady of Light for kind words and idea, I count myself lucky for our friendship too.

I like the idea, I never thought of that, I'm glad you didn't say mail it though, too be honest, I have no idea where any of these people live now.

Will definately try it over the weekend late or in the early am when it's peaceful, and I think better. I have a pretty good list I'm thinking about all ready myself definately included!

Re: Lady of Light's Inspirational Photos with Words of Wisdom

I had at least 7 people (I may think up more at later date) I could think of off the top of my head, I couldn't remember all the kids names that made my life miserable (and proceeded to affect my adulthood to a certain extent, at least I'm not a complete basket case only because they weren't anything like they are now ) so I put in who I still think was the leader and addressed him and and his people (we didn't have the phrase homies or homeboys,or posse when I was growing up ) but that's what they were to him. After I wrote it then I deleted it. I think I'll remember what I said, and I did mention about trying to forgive.

I moved your post to this thread where it belongs. I don't want to go so far off topic under the inspirational photos.


That's awesome!! I have my own I need to write. One person was addressed directly over the holidays, but a letter will be written with EVERYTHING that should be said; whether or not I send it to him is a different story. One, has been soooo long coming that I think it NEEDS to be sent, even though that person has seemed to make quite a change.

Anyhow, I'm glad you're able to do it, and sometimes this is the ONLY way to gain the closure necessary to be well within ourselves and move on. Like one of my photos says, "Sometimes you need to look backward to move forward."

It's good to be able to get things off your chest. Its good the person your talking about has changed a little but maybe with a little finessing and some helpful suggestions maybe he can change whatever else he needs changing, you're lucky that he's open to changing sadly some people never are.

Thank you for putting it in its proper place sometimes I do get carried away and forget what the subject matter was. My friend gets on me for doing that we can be talking about one thing, she says something that reminds me of something else, then she gets confused as to what I said, seem it happens on line as well when I feel conformtable with who I'm talking to.

It happens. It's all good. It's moved to where the subject was in the first place, and there's no harm done.

You're not the only one who gets carried away and drifts off onto something else, I am the same. Look around THIS place, it's happening all over on here. I can't sort most of it out because it's impossible, so new threads get started to try to continue in their own direction for each conversation.

So, don't worry yourself over it, it happens to all of us.

I guess I can say it happens to the best of us, then. At least people are talking and exchanging ideas with each other.
It could always be worse lol, it's hard keeping track of alot of people on line or in person, I would imagine.