If you want to learn how to hypnotize people, gaining rapport with your client is essential to being an effective hypnotist. Milton Erickson once said anything is possible in trance given enough rapport. Your success in hypnosis depends on developing your powers of observation.
We have done two exercises using rapport. This is a skill we must master completely. We started with basic matching and mirroring, then had a further discussion on rapport, how to gain it, break it use it and avoid it. Hypnosis is a communication skill, period. Most hypnotic training focuses on the words we use only. Since this is 5% of our communication, I think there are some other things to learn first. Such as the other 95%.
These are non verbal communications. That means they are not about the words. They are about our delivery of the words and our body language. In order to communicate with our clients, we must first do a couple of things.
One, they must trust us. This is rapport. This will be half your battle in learning how to hypnotize people.
Two, we must understand the way they think. We are all unique people with very distinct personalities. Yes you can group them in one of a few types, but these are guidelines only. No one fits into any stereotype 100%.
First a definition I have left out rapport=pacing=matching and mirroring. These terms are almost interchangeable. However there is a difference between matching and mirroring. Matching, is the subject moves their left arm, and you move your left arm. Mirroring is your subject moves their left arm and you move your right arm. If you constantly match, you will be caught. Mirroring is what the person would see looking in the mirror. Mirroring is a far stronger subconscious technique, and will rarely be perceived. A combination is best.
Rapport goes quite a bit deeper than just their physical movements, body language, and posture. I hinted before at the rate they breathe. This is critical. Think about it. The body has two major functions to support life. It breathes, and the heart beats. At this point, I don’t want you to concern yourself with their pulse, but know in time as your skill set advances, so will your ability to observe such things.
Today, I want you to focus on breathing. Just one simple thing. I want you to start to notice how someone breathes. Through their mouth or nose? From their diaphragm, or belly? Deep or shallow? How fast?
I mentioned before, you don’t have to stare at their chests. (This is a good way to get slapped by a lady in polite society.) Watch their face, neck, especially their shoulders. Notice how they rise and fall with every breath. Watch their abdomen to calibrate depth and location.
I want you to start to notice that people talk at the same rate they breathe. Today I want you to take a moment and calibrate your breathing to theirs. Match it as best you can. Don’t worry, the more you do this, the better you we become. When you are talking to someone, breath the exact same as them. Just match and pace.
When you talk, talk at the same speed as their normal breathing pattern. You will quickly notice how much this varies with emotion, even in the same conversation. If the talk about something exciting, their breathing increases. If they talk about something somber, it slows.
The bond and rapport you will get simply from their breathing is completely subconscious, and I will prove it to you. While laying in bed next to someone asleep, or in a restaurant, pick someone at another table. It works better if they are not looking directly at you, nor you at them. Use your peripheral vision to gauge their breathing. Match their breathing for a period of five minutes. This is a long time, but do it anyway. After 5 minutes being in complete sync with them, change your breathing. Breath deeper and slower, or shallower and faster. Not drastically, but noticeably. Watch them. Within one minute their breathing will match your new rate.