Are you really serious? What little bit I can see of your words.... makes me thankful that I am spared the video/
Ianchris you said "Sometimes I cannot explain why I do the things I do, or why I do them when I do nor can I explain why they are done in the context which they are done. What I can say is that I do what I believe must be done, and when the time is right something guides me along path in which it should get done.
Have you ever seriously considered that another entity could be controlling your thoughts... nudging you in whichever direction it wants you to take.... what is that " Something". Are you SURE that it is a positive entity... How do you know that you are not just the target of some human generated mind control project? You fit the standard perfectly actually.
Its a simple question. Have you ever considered where the source of your " inspiration" comes from?