Puns for Educated Minds

> The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
> He acquired his size from too much pi.

> I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
> to be an optical Aleutian .

> She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

> A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was
> a weapon of math disruption.
> No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

> A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

> Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

> Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
> Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
> other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
> I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

> A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
> The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
> large.

> A backward poet writes inverse

> If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

> Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other
> and says 'Dam!'
> Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
> craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
> your kayak and heat it too.
> Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other
> says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
> There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that
> at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.