Stupid Quotes from our public figures


Stupid Quotes


“If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

-Brooke Shields

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. – Weisert

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

“Please provide the date of your death.”
-from an IRS letter

“I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.”
-Richard (Dicky) Nixon

We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
-Lee Iacocca

“A verbal contract is not worth the paper it’s written on.”
-Samuel Goldwyn

Helpful Warnings: “CAUTION: Knife is very sharp. Keep out of children”

“The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman.”
-Rear Admiral James R. Hogg

“We apologize for the error in last week’s paper
in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.”
-Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper

“Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.”
-Batman costume warning label

“The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.”
-Gerry Brown

“I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.”
-George Bush

“I was provided with addtional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version.”
-Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony

“We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover.”
-Parish Magazine

“We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally.”
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

“The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
-Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

“Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.”
-Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel

“I’ve read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents.”
-George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign

“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor

The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.
Dwight Eisenhower

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.

— Sen. Chris Dodd (D, Conn.), on the Don Imus show, on campaigning
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras

If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.
— Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras

Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, “Thank God, I’m still alive.” But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.
— Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D, Calif.)
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras Joey Bishop (talk-show host): Would you like to become a regular on the show? Barry Goldwater: No, thank you. I’d much rather watch you in bed with my wife.
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That’s a good-looking mummy!
— President Bill Clinton, looking at the recently-discovered Inca mummy “Juanita”
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras

You read what Disraeli had to say. I don’t remember what he said. He said something. He’s no longer with us.
— Bob Dole
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras

I have opinions of my own — strong opinions — but I don’t always agree with them. — President George Bush
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I’m a night owl. — Marion Barry
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras

You can’t just let nature run wild.
— Wally Hickel, former governor of Alaska
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
— Mike Murphy, adviser to Lamar Alexander
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras

I cannot tell you how grateful I am — I am filled with humidity.
— Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras

Dan Quayle Quotes
(extending his hand during a campaign stop): I’m Dan Quayle. Who are you?

Woman: I’m your Secret Service agent.


“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras

“It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment,
it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
-Dan Quayle

“If we don’t succeed we run the risk of failure.”
-Dan Quayle

“We are not ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur.”
-Dan Quayle

“Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that
is by itself. It is a –it is different from the other 49 states. Well,
all states are different, but it’s got a particularly unique situation.”
-Dan Quayle

“It is wonderful to be here today in the great state of Chicago” – Dan Quayle

It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system!
— Dan Quayle, on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
“The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians” – by Ross and Kathryn Petras

“I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.”
-Dan Quayle

“What a waste it is to lose one’s mind.
Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”
-Dan Quayle

“Potatoe”
-Dan Quayl