Scene 5

Who will tell me where, oh where
That filthy monster has run away?
The love I gave him unaware
He has now viciously betrayed.
If I can find the villain, and if
He still will not return to me,
I mean to destroy his miserable life,
To rip out his heart pitilessly.

Hear that? A lovely lady
Seduced and abandoned. Poor thing!
Let's try to console her distress.

LEPORELLO: Like the thousands before this little princess.

DON GIOVANNI: Signorina!

DONNA ELVIRA: Who's there?

DON GIOVANNI: Heavens! What's this!

LEPORELLO: Oh Lord! Donna Elvira!

DONNA ELVIRA: Don Giovanni! You? Here? Monster! Criminal! Filthy liar!

LEPORELLO: (All of his titles! She must know him well.)

DON GIOVANNI: Come now, Dear Donna Elvira, calm your anger ... listen ... let me speak ...

DONNA ELVIRA: What could you say after what you've done? You sneaked into my house. With cunning and vows and flattery you seduced my heart and made love to me. You were cruel enough to promise marriage. Then, defying the holy laws of heaven and earth with your crime, you fled Burgos. You deceived me, you ran away, and left me a prey to remorse and weeping, as my punishment for having loved you so much!

LEPORELLO: (She could write a book.)

DON GIOVANNI: As for that, I had my reasons. (to Leporello) Didn't I?

LEPORELLO: (ironically) Indeed, yes. Valid reasons.

DONNA ELVIRA: What are they, other than lies and infidelity? But a just God wanted me to find you, to carry out His vengeance, and mine.

DON GIOVANNI: Come, be reasonable ... (My, this woman is a nuisance.) If you won't believe me, believe this honest gentleman.

LEPORELLO: (Anything but the truth.)

DON GIOVANNI: (loudly) Go on, tell her ...

LEPORELLO: (softly) What should I say?

DON GIOVANNI: (loudly) Yes, yes, the whole truth.

DONNA ELVIRA: (to Leporello) Well then ... be quick about it ... (Meanwhile Don Giovanni escapes.)

LEPORELLO: Madame, truly in this world, as you are no doubt aware, what is called a square cannot be a circle ...

DONNA ELVIRA: (to Leporello) Scoundrel! You use my grief to mock me? (to Don Giovanni, not realizing he has gone) And you ... Heavens! The wretch has run away! God! Where is he! Where has he gone?

LEPORELLO: Oh, let him go. He isn't worth your worry.

DONNA ELVIRA: That wicked man tricked me, betrayed me ...

LEPORELLO: Take heart. You weren't the first one, and you won't be the last. Look at this thick book. It's filled with the names of all his sweethearts. Every village, every town, every country offers proof of his prowess with women.

Dear Madame, here's a little list
Of the beauties my master has won.
I've made some notes, just for fun.
Come over here, read it with me.
In Italy, six hundred and forty.
In Germany, two hundred thirty-one.
In France, a hundred. In Turkey, ninety-one.
But in Spain, it tops a thousand and three.
There are your country girls,
Maidservants and ladies in pearls.
Countesses, baronesses
Princesses, marchionesses.
Women of every rank,
Of any shape, of any age.
With blondes, it is his way
To praise their sweetness.
Dark ones, their bouquet.
Pale ones, their neatness.
In winter he likes them plumper
But then thinner come summer.
Tall ones are "majestic."
Small ones are "domestic."
Older women he can't resist,
Dying to add them to my list.
But his favorite has always been
The innocent young virgin.
He does not care if they are rich,
Fair or foul is all the same.
If she's in a dress, he's game.
He knows which end is which.
(He leaves.)