Hi, Girl with a clue.
To the "dreams" and out of body, those aspects can absolutely be controlled, and SHOULD be, as much as possible. I would imagine, the sleep paralysis can be controlled as well in much the same way. From what I've heard of the paralysis from everyone who has told me is the common factor of FEAR. I'm sure if that fear can be not allowed, then whoever is causing it will not be able to cause the paralysis anymore. I have not experienced such, so I honestly don't know what it's like first-hand.
As to the alien with the beam, I would venture to say that you may well have been abducted. I was listening to an old Art Bell show yesterday and there were a few people who stated the same thing, and feel that they were in fact abducted. So, anything is possible.
Take notes as to when this stuff happens. Try to keep as much detail as possible. And get control whenever possible and keep that control.
If you haven't already read it, I suggest reading this:
It may help on that subject.
I will relay a story of one of my aunts (mentioned above) who experienced (and may still be experiencing from time to time) sleep paralysis. My aunt was staying with me to help watch my parents' house while they were away for a few days. All 3 nights, she claimed she was being held down by a man in the bed she was sleeping in. At the time, I didn't think much of it. I knew she wasn't lying about what she felt, but I didn't understand it so I blew it off. This was 12 years ago. Since that time, she had told me of multiple times where this would happen in her own home. Naturally, everyone thought she was nuts. I didn't think she was crazy, but really, I didn't know what to make of it. Our house was always haunted and there were natural "gateways", 3 of them, within the house at different spots. Those nights there, the bed she was in was between 2 of those gateways and abutting on one of them. So, I figured maybe it was a ghost. My family has always been sensitive to these things, so when you attract entities to you, it's hard to know WHAT is going on. To say I was scared would be an understatement. (I've since learned to drop that fear and although sometimes get freaked out, I'm not scared by any of it anymore.)
I'm not sure if that story helps any, of even if it makes sense. As I type and speak these days, I feel that I trail on and don't make my points, but I hope that it helps to know it's common.
My other aunt had a dark entity come after her as she was paralyzed in her bed. That happened about 3 years ago.
The only time I have had contact that I am aware of is with the aliens mentioned above, which are the child-like ones who give off the oh-so-comforting loving feeling. These are the ones who I can FEEL come around me from time to time, but I have only seen them in a dream. I have had other dreams of seeing ships, but nothing negative.
I encourage EVERYONE who has had any kind of experience like the above to share their stories. It helps everyone, especially those who think they are alone and those who don't know what to do about it. We need to help bring to light what's going on out there and show that this type of thing is real.